I feel embarassed to ask this but I need help.
- Thread starter AbyssKiller
- Start date
here's what you should do. you should call up that girl and say, "bitch, I don't care about you. whatever. we're done. but tell your punk ass boyfreind to stop running his mouth. If he wants to start shit then I'd love it. I'll kick his fuckin ass. here's my address, tell him to stop by." there's no way that he'll do it, but she'll be really impressed. anyway, who cares? fuck her. but it will make you feel a lot better about yourself.
Now normally I wouldn't suggest this, but I don't think it would hurt for you to start being a little bit of an asshole. I know that sounds fucked up, but everyone your age is really insecure and they don't know what they are doing, just like you. And I can tell that you are a person that really analyzies everything and is too hard on yourself. that's how I am too. and people are going to try and take advantage of you, like the people that you talked about. You gotta show people that you won't take shit and let them walk all over you. eventually you'll start to believe it too. and then people will respect you, but they aren't the kind of people that you want, they will just be the opposite of the people your used to. the ones that kiss your ass because they want to use you. But once you get into a position where you can deal with people like you don't give a fuck, then you won't give a fuck and it will come easy. then you can espress how you really feel and not feel so awkward about it.
the less shit that you care about the more free you will be, and once you get over all the really pointless shit, then you can see what really matters and it will be easy to go for it.
Now normally I wouldn't suggest this, but I don't think it would hurt for you to start being a little bit of an asshole. I know that sounds fucked up, but everyone your age is really insecure and they don't know what they are doing, just like you. And I can tell that you are a person that really analyzies everything and is too hard on yourself. that's how I am too. and people are going to try and take advantage of you, like the people that you talked about. You gotta show people that you won't take shit and let them walk all over you. eventually you'll start to believe it too. and then people will respect you, but they aren't the kind of people that you want, they will just be the opposite of the people your used to. the ones that kiss your ass because they want to use you. But once you get into a position where you can deal with people like you don't give a fuck, then you won't give a fuck and it will come easy. then you can espress how you really feel and not feel so awkward about it.
the less shit that you care about the more free you will be, and once you get over all the really pointless shit, then you can see what really matters and it will be easy to go for it.
Don't be embarrassed man, we were all there once. Or we weren't and were naturals. Naturals can't help you cause they don't know why they can talk to women.
Here is a challenge for you. I did it (with moral support from people) and it really helped me out. Oh and I'm 19. I did it when I was 18. Don't let people say you're too young, cause if you leave it, you're just wasting time.
But anyway. Go out tomorrow, dress really nice, and be confident. If you're not confident, fake it. Go out and talk to 10 people. 10 random people about anything. It can be a simple, "nice weather". But make 10 encounters. And do it again the day after, and after. Build up your social tolerance, be comfortable with people. From there, you'll be more confident in yourself, and chicks dig that.
Here is a challenge for you. I did it (with moral support from people) and it really helped me out. Oh and I'm 19. I did it when I was 18. Don't let people say you're too young, cause if you leave it, you're just wasting time.
But anyway. Go out tomorrow, dress really nice, and be confident. If you're not confident, fake it. Go out and talk to 10 people. 10 random people about anything. It can be a simple, "nice weather". But make 10 encounters. And do it again the day after, and after. Build up your social tolerance, be comfortable with people. From there, you'll be more confident in yourself, and chicks dig that.
Although I do have my doubts about age and such, I'll bite.
Girls are shy too. Sometimes girls don't know how to talk to guys either. 8 years ago I was the same way (god that makes me feel freaking old! lol).
Now it doesn't bother me. I get on well with guys.
It's all about confidence level, as you get older that will come. Just be yourself, find girls who are interested in what you are interested in.
Girls are shy too. Sometimes girls don't know how to talk to guys either. 8 years ago I was the same way (god that makes me feel freaking old! lol).
Now it doesn't bother me. I get on well with guys.
It's all about confidence level, as you get older that will come. Just be yourself, find girls who are interested in what you are interested in.
S
sputnikgirl
Guest
Once you get to college, if you're not already there, it doesn't matter whether or not you know how to talk to girls. Join a frat and you'll get all the female attention you could ever want or need. The vast majority of girls that aren't at good universities are just looking for a rich husband anyway.
No abyss, I don't think you are a loser.
Some us over here may not be able to express the way you have expressed yourself in writing. Some of us are good in speaking out, some not. There is nothing wrong in it. I myself used to get tongue-tied in front of the boys. So you ARE better in some part than some of us.
Everyone can't be best in everything.
You know, what is our main draw back? All of us want to talk, but just don't listen to others.
Be a listener. Just ask one question to the person. Casual, simple. Then listen. Listen them talk about their family, their friends; and be interested in their talking, seriously.
Forget the gender of the person. Try this with your family & friends, then slowly extend the circle.
Best wishes, :thumbsup:
Spoken like a true Psycho(logist)
And written like a true mud-head ditch-digger
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Ahhh... There is only one bit of advice I can give. Don't give a shit about what they think of you, just be natural, be yourself. Don't attempt to be cool or try be a complete gentlemen, because you will end up looking like an idiot and you will look as if you are almost struggling to talk to her. I was shy as a youngster but as I started growing up I really stopped worrying about what everyone thought of me and started being myself. It is the only way you can meet people properly, if they don't like you for some reason, then chances are they aren't right for you. I know it sounds cliche but its true. I come from Scotland and trust me, the women here are very unfriendly and hard to speak to so anyone can struggle here. It is also about image, you have to look decent. Don't expect a girl to want to talk to a guy who has worn the ame sweaty t-shirt for 5 days straight. It can be hard to find common interests in girls and in high-schools sometimes the only reason people are with each other is due to social status, they often have no common interests but as you leace school things change. Sometimes even I struggle to find decent conversation with girls as I have many interests and knowledge on things thats why its always good to bring it to basics. Just ask where they are from, what they do, what they like ect. listen to them and hopefully from there you can get some banter out and start flirting with them. You gotta make the effort with girls and you gotta get them, as well as yourself, comfortable.
Well, first off i think that girl was using you. That girl had a boyfriend that she wasn't 100% happy with and she thought she'd use you as a guy to make her boyfriend jealous or whatever as an excuse for her to dump him or for her to get him to pull his socks up. Same thing happened to me last year with a girl, she had a boyfriend but she'd talk to me for hours right in front of him just to piss him off and eventually she dumped him. I have zero repect for her now, as you should have for that girl you talked about. Secondly, 50% of the people you'll meet in this world are tools. Most people you come in contact with will either not like you or you will not like them. You may grow acquainted with a person or become friendly with someone but only very rarely do you actually have a connection with someone. Most people have maybe 2 or 3 good friends at most that they really know or care about so don't fret. You don't need to be the guy with loads of friends and girls hanging around with you to enjoy your life.
I would agree with an earlier comment, exercise loads. Join a gym and hit the weights room. You'll feel much better about yourself and thus find a new found confidence. I was shy in school but when i left i joined a gym and did lots of weight training and it changed the way i interact with people. If you workout, you work out for yourself, it's not a team sport, and the results you get out of it will reflect the effort you put in. You'll become more satisfied with who you are and become more out going to people. Don't ask me why the gym did it for me but it did. Give it a try, it works!
I would agree with an earlier comment, exercise loads. Join a gym and hit the weights room. You'll feel much better about yourself and thus find a new found confidence. I was shy in school but when i left i joined a gym and did lots of weight training and it changed the way i interact with people. If you workout, you work out for yourself, it's not a team sport, and the results you get out of it will reflect the effort you put in. You'll become more satisfied with who you are and become more out going to people. Don't ask me why the gym did it for me but it did. Give it a try, it works!
meesterperfect
Hiliary 2020
Sorry I have no advice. Just that alot of it is because of a cultural thing. I don't want to offend any women here. But in the United States I've seen in the past say 10-15 years womens attitudes getting worse and worse. In most countrys you wouldn't have your problem with girls because in most countrys women are not as they are in the U.S.
I've just found in recent years, especially young women, seem to have a primadonna"how dare you speak to me" attitude in the U.S. I laugh at it because its soo ridiculous.
The way I see it society has ruined most women, put them on an undeserved pedistile,and made the chances of finding an uneffected girl very slim.
Of course there are still normal, not stuck up girls out there in the U.S. but in my experience in recent years I have seen very few.
So, In american culture today women have all the power in relationships it seems. They make most of the decisions. Men are more and more desperate than ever so they put up with stupidity because they don't want to start over again, searching. Its like a mind game I stopped playing a few years ago.
Iv'e seen many friends in the past put up with bullshit.Pure misery. In relationships that are totally one sided. I ask my self why and the only explanation i can come up with is the fear of being alone.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. Forgetaboutit
Good luck finding a girl, just don't settle for an asshole.
Chao
I've just found in recent years, especially young women, seem to have a primadonna"how dare you speak to me" attitude in the U.S. I laugh at it because its soo ridiculous.
The way I see it society has ruined most women, put them on an undeserved pedistile,and made the chances of finding an uneffected girl very slim.
Of course there are still normal, not stuck up girls out there in the U.S. but in my experience in recent years I have seen very few.
So, In american culture today women have all the power in relationships it seems. They make most of the decisions. Men are more and more desperate than ever so they put up with stupidity because they don't want to start over again, searching. Its like a mind game I stopped playing a few years ago.
Iv'e seen many friends in the past put up with bullshit.Pure misery. In relationships that are totally one sided. I ask my self why and the only explanation i can come up with is the fear of being alone.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. Forgetaboutit
Good luck finding a girl, just don't settle for an asshole.
Chao
member006
Closed Account
I really hadn't planned on getting involved in this one, but here I am. Another member actually PM'd me last night asking if I could maybe give my thoughts on it. I hardly know where to begin.
Its a shame you were sheltered as a child, that leaves one unprepared for many things in life. Developing "social skills" as we grow up is almost as important as the textbook knowledge of education. Hard knocks 101 is also very needed, we can't shelter to much if we do nothing is learned. Life isn't roses and wine.
I think you need to just stop thinking "her" that would be a start. I think the nervousness sets in immediately at that point, then panic. Think "possible friend" when talking to anyone. Since you say you don't talk much, then I have to assume you're a good listener. Use that, it will help guide you to topics of conversation. In listening you will find topics.
Don't act like you are interested in something you aren't really to make points with anyone. It will be detected and is a turn off. Stay "online" but lead to a similar subject that could be continued. If it fails bail from that and talk of something in your surroundings. Like if she/he talks of baseball and its not your thing, admit it. "Sorry I don't know much of baseball, but I do follow basketball. Do you? "If she/he does run with it but let her/him talk too, if she/he doesn't move on. If you're at school bring up something going on on campus, at the park "Have you heard about the proposal to ban dogs from the park? (or any local stuff) Relax and let it flow.
I really feel you think you have lost before you start and therefor panic and don't put forth a real effort. To "not try" anything because you feel you will fail is a sin. Nothing beats a failure but a try is the old saying. You would have never said "I can't" in my mother and fathers home about anything."You better always try hard, never stop trying, always give it your best and you will spend you life surprising yourself. " my mom used to say. Relax, take baby steps you can do anything. Your failures are only things "you" give yourself. So why not reverse it and give yourself "successes". Its all there inside of you, find it and shine.
Note: Maybe no laughter watching the movie because she had things on her mind, something bothering her. Did you ask? Doesn't mean she was bored. The walking her to the ladies room and waiting outside the entrance was 100% the right move. No fault there on you, I had a date do that at the football stadium once, I thought it was the best of manners and was very impressed.
Good Luck
LL
Its a shame you were sheltered as a child, that leaves one unprepared for many things in life. Developing "social skills" as we grow up is almost as important as the textbook knowledge of education. Hard knocks 101 is also very needed, we can't shelter to much if we do nothing is learned. Life isn't roses and wine.
I think you need to just stop thinking "her" that would be a start. I think the nervousness sets in immediately at that point, then panic. Think "possible friend" when talking to anyone. Since you say you don't talk much, then I have to assume you're a good listener. Use that, it will help guide you to topics of conversation. In listening you will find topics.
Don't act like you are interested in something you aren't really to make points with anyone. It will be detected and is a turn off. Stay "online" but lead to a similar subject that could be continued. If it fails bail from that and talk of something in your surroundings. Like if she/he talks of baseball and its not your thing, admit it. "Sorry I don't know much of baseball, but I do follow basketball. Do you? "If she/he does run with it but let her/him talk too, if she/he doesn't move on. If you're at school bring up something going on on campus, at the park "Have you heard about the proposal to ban dogs from the park? (or any local stuff) Relax and let it flow.
I really feel you think you have lost before you start and therefor panic and don't put forth a real effort. To "not try" anything because you feel you will fail is a sin. Nothing beats a failure but a try is the old saying. You would have never said "I can't" in my mother and fathers home about anything."You better always try hard, never stop trying, always give it your best and you will spend you life surprising yourself. " my mom used to say. Relax, take baby steps you can do anything. Your failures are only things "you" give yourself. So why not reverse it and give yourself "successes".
Its all there inside of you, find it and shine. Note: Maybe no laughter watching the movie because she had things on her mind, something bothering her. Did you ask? Doesn't mean she was bored. The walking her to the ladies room and waiting outside the entrance was 100% the right move. No fault there on you, I had a date do that at the football stadium once, I thought it was the best of manners and was very impressed.
Good Luck
LL
squallumz
knows petras secret: she farted.
i know someone exactly like you. only its a girl. and she is nto good at communication because she was also very sheltered. the friends she does have are very fake and dont really give a rat's ass about her.
the only thing i can really tell you is, there isnt anything wrong with you as a being, you are just not compfortable yet. and being 18 is no excuse to be able to jump into the world of dating. age is nothing but a number.
so what, youre 18. it doesnt mean you are ready. you have to be comfortable. heres my questions:
do you come from a strong religious family?
do you live at home still?
do you go to college?
do you work? you have a job?
if you live at home still and havent really tasted the world for what it really is, its still going to be hard to muster up your confidence or courage. you have to get out there. i have a feeling You Might be living at home still (not that theres anything wrong with that) a job involving co-workers will really help your socializing problems. im willing to bet if you worked around some cool people, you'd start to open up.
dont freak out on yourself. this is normal. i was also very shy, but working helped, and moving out helped big time.
small steps, mate. small steps.
the only thing i can really tell you is, there isnt anything wrong with you as a being, you are just not compfortable yet. and being 18 is no excuse to be able to jump into the world of dating. age is nothing but a number.
so what, youre 18. it doesnt mean you are ready. you have to be comfortable. heres my questions:
do you come from a strong religious family?
do you live at home still?
do you go to college?
do you work? you have a job?
if you live at home still and havent really tasted the world for what it really is, its still going to be hard to muster up your confidence or courage. you have to get out there. i have a feeling You Might be living at home still (not that theres anything wrong with that) a job involving co-workers will really help your socializing problems. im willing to bet if you worked around some cool people, you'd start to open up.
dont freak out on yourself. this is normal. i was also very shy, but working helped, and moving out helped big time.
small steps, mate. small steps.
dave_rhino
Closed Account
And remember, don't be too nice to girls. Sometimes a little bit of passive agression goes well...
I was always really nice to girls i met, and you know what i ended up with?
Friends...
But maybe that's just me, and you probably shouldn't listen to anything i say.
I was always really nice to girls i met, and you know what i ended up with?
Friends...
But maybe that's just me, and you probably shouldn't listen to anything i say.
Legzman
what the fuck you lookin at?
yea if your to nice you get friends.
If your to mean you don't get shit
if your the right mixture of both you get pussy! :nanner: Maybe even a gf depending on what your looking for!
It does take some time to find the right mix with that!
i was like that when i was younger...ok, yes im still young..lol..
but the best thing to do if you wna meet girls is just..."GO WITH THE FLOW". dont think of what to say...say it. thats the worst thing coz if you think of something to say, u usually come out with summat really stupid...believe me..i know....
its even better if you go to college..enrol on a course where there wil be a mixture of guys and girls, not just girls or guys...that should help
oh and another thing...if that dont work..im not sure if im alowed to do this... try chat rooms to build up your self confidence...
Hope dat helps
but the best thing to do if you wna meet girls is just..."GO WITH THE FLOW". dont think of what to say...say it. thats the worst thing coz if you think of something to say, u usually come out with summat really stupid...believe me..i know....
its even better if you go to college..enrol on a course where there wil be a mixture of guys and girls, not just girls or guys...that should help
oh and another thing...if that dont work..im not sure if im alowed to do this... try chat rooms to build up your self confidence...
Hope dat helps
Lol...that is all so true, dont wanna get in the friend zone...what i usually do that works is take the piss outta them, i dont kno why, but it works like a charm
dave_rhino
Closed Account
Yeah i agree, although "take the piss" maybe too much for this guy. He'll end up insulting them, haha.
But just making a few innocent jokes about them, nothing that's gonna make um upset. If you get a laugh followed by "shut up" and hopefully a small push on the arm, it worked well :thumbsup:
Dude, the only way to fix your problem is to get out more. Just find stuff to do that involves other people. Watch them and observe how they interact. Learn from that and incorporate it into your own personality. Be patient, it's a process that'll take several years, but eventually you'll be normal just like everyone else.
Trust me from personal experience.
Trust me from personal experience.
member006
Closed Account
What is important here is that being friends first is the ticket.
Let it flow naturally to something more if its meant to be it will be. If its not meant to be more, you at least have found a friend. Sex later is always a possibility and could be a nice perk. LL:angels:
AbyssKiller
Banned
I will try to answer every questions that was asked. My family is not religious, I still live at my home, this is my last year in high school and so far I can't go to college because I have trouble at school, I don't work or have a job. I am skinny but I did join a gym few month ago but I just go there like once a week because of high school.
Thanks a lot everyone! I will try my best with all your advices. Wish me luck.
Thanks a lot everyone!
I will try my best with all your advices. Wish me luck.Similar threads
